Feeling My Mettle

The other night I led Bakasana (Crow) prep poses, but when we got to the actual POSE, I really couldn’t hold it for very long. Two of my younger, more bendy students were rocking it though,  and even trying advanced variations.

I was trying to help them achieve some of these variations, but I couldn’t demo what I was trying to explain, and so as I walked home from class I found myself a little grouchy, a little sad, and  a little on edge.

I get very frustrated whenever I am not able to demo, or do, advanced asana in class. It makes me question my helpfulness as a teacher. I understand, in my mind, that some poses are simply not going to take shape in my particular body at this time, either because I am not strong enough, or because I lack sufficient openness in my hips, or simply because my bones won’t allow it.

But I also know that if I work towards these poses,  and if that work is performed patiently, with reverence, and for a long time, my body can probably express any shape I wish.

That’s because if there is one thing I do know how to do exceedingly well, it is practice. I know how to sit down on my mat and begin. I know how to dial-in quickly, and, without a lot of fanfare, stay dialed-in –on everything, including that endless running head-chatter about how impossible it all is.

When I enter my practice room these days, time slows waaay down, then it seems to stop completely.  An hour or so later I emerge and can hardly speak, or even remember what transpired.

As I am nearing the 5-month mark in my daily yoga streak, I am feeling really different, really  strong–not in my body, though there is some of that, but in what I am made of; I feel my “mettle,” so to speak.  I am feeling the results of 150 days of good, sustained practice, and it feels really, really good.

9 thoughts on “Feeling My Mettle

  1. 150 days? You rock. In fact, I’m so glad that you are back to posting again, because they are my reminders to do my yoga, not in a nagging way, but in a loving way. And there is no way that I can wait until the Challenge to start up daily yoga again. I NEEEEEEEED to do yoga daily, even if that means for only 15 minutes, some wind reliever, twist, bridge, baby, and some suns, it’s something.

    I am grateful for your mettle and your streaks!!

      • Cindy says:

        And your posting bring me out of my hole to comment too!!! teehee

        Love ya, Kath & capalove!!!

        As always, Thanks for the inspiration, Kath.

        Picture this: Me, sitting in my kitchen, in a comfy chair with feet propped up on comfy ottoman, laptop on lap, afghan under laptop, cozy in here, windy out there, coffee by my side (I rarely drink coffee anymore, but indulge about 2x a week), seeking some Saturday morning inspiration, so I turned to inspirationlocation!! P.S. JUST NOW, our cat was chirping to get on my lap, so I had to move the laptop to the side table … and NOW, I have a purring, kneading orange ball of fluff on my lap!!!! OH THE JOY of Saturday mornings with no place to go but … inward! 0-:-)

  2. Natalie says:

    Kath,
    Love this post. This is the first time I heard a yoga teacher say that some poses don’t suit our bodies, especially in a given time and place. In our culture, we feel we should be able to do all things at all times. Really, the gift is in the commitment to the practice.

  3. you are the inspiration that gives breath to so many postures in so many people. there is no demo for that, you either can or you can’t. i am thankful you can. my continued practice is due, large in part, to you and your amazing studio. my blog would not even exist if i didn’t know you! you are awe-inspring!! 150 days is something to celebrate! congrats, kath! :-)

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