A Little Nibble of Silence

Official “Kath-led Morning Yoga” has now ended for the year and will return with the rains and the robins in April.

But some of us still get up at the butt-crack of dawn on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings to practice Ashtanga.  Nobody teaches it, we just DO IT.  Christine is the expert, so we watch her for the sequence, but then we all just modify and adjust as our bodies dictate.

It’s kind of austere, this yoga.  Especially compared with the classes I teach.  There’s no directions, no guidance, no reminders, no little jokes, no music, no readings, no centering (unless you count the chanting of the Invocation—which I do).  It’s just 3-5 people in a softly-lit room, taking postures and holding them for 5 Ujjayii breaths.

We sweat.  We topple.  We do the best we can with what we have.

We make what Natalie Goldberg once called, “positive effort for the good.”

I wouldn’t do it if it weren’t for the others.  The others wouldn’t do if it weren’t for the others either.  When we leave each other and casually say, “See ya in the morning!” that’s our commitment.

Yeah, sometimes things come up and we can’t make it, but most of the time, most of us show up.  For ourselves.  For each other.

It’s a sweaty practice.  Not Bikram-sweaty in that artificially hot room way.  It’s sweaty because there are so many vinyasas, and because in certain difficult postures 5 breaths seems to take an hour.

I ended my practice this morning feeling so blissed-out.  I felt soft, sorted out, clean.  I sat up from my savasana, said my ending prayer, and then all I wanted to do was freeze the day.  Right there.

Or no.  I wanted the day to go onward, but I wanted to continue to just sit there.

And watch it.  I wanted to observe it, like a photographer observes the world through the lens of the camera.  I wanted to be in it, but not OF it.

But the dog needed to be fed.

And I had an appointment to get ready for.

And, really, I had STUFF TO DO!

But I think tomorrow I am going to let myself partake of that yummy quiet for a bit longer.  I am going to nibble at least a small piece of the silence before I launch head-first into my day.

Because really, doesn’t it seem a crime to just have the appetizer without even tasing the entrée?  Especially after all that preparation?