November 6, 2009

A Found List

I found this list in the back of one of my old journals the other day.  I didn’t compile it, but I loved it, so I copied it, –from the net probably.  So I would love to give credit to the author, so if anyone recognizes this and knows where it came from, please let me know!

Here it is:

In the following, I list 71 things that you can do to be more successful. You choose to do them or not. If you choose not to do these things, then you have no right to complain about your problems; your problems are your fault!

  1. Stop watching television.
  2. Stop eating fast food.
  3. Stop eating pizza and fried foods.
  4. Stop driving places that you could easily walk to.
  5. Read at least 1 book a month.
  6. Take classes in what interests you or your vocation.
  7. Work enough to support yourself, and if needed get a new job or second job to make enough to support yourself. Never stick with a job that doesn’t pay enough to support yourself no matter how much you work.
  8. Pay off your debts and don’t go in debt. You can pay off your debts if you avoid needless expenses, such as cable, overpriced clothes, impractical decorations, unhealthy snacks, jewelry, etcetera.
  9. Don’t buy a car on finance, and don’t buy an expensive car if a cheaper one that works is available.
  10. Wake up early, and get all your work done as quickly as possible. That includes household chores, as well as your employment.
  11. Drink alcohol less or quit.
  12. Do drugs less or quit.
  13. Don’t smoke cigarettes.
  14. Don’t eat foods with high fructose corn syrup.
  15. Don’t drink soda.
  16. Don’t eat sugary foods at all.
  17. Don’t drink more than 1 glass of juice per day.
  18. Stand up straight and have good posture.
  19. Look people in the eyes when you talk to them.
  20. Smile.
  21. Be polite.
  22. Keep your promises.
  23. Wear a watch, if you can afford it.
  24. Eat breakfast.
  25. If you eat cereal at any time, choose your cereal based on healthiness not tastiness.
  26. Exercise at least 3 days per week.
  27. Walk often.
  28. Always write with correct spelling and grammar.
  29. Never speak worse about a person behind their back than you do to their face. (Feel free to say nicer things about a person behind their back than to their face.)
  30. Don’t gossip and don’t have a big mouth.
  31. Never judge other people harsher than you judge yourself.
  32. Make New Years resolutions, but make one every day instead of every year.
  33. Volunteer.
  34. Forgive, but never forget.
  35. Don’t have skeletons in your closet.
  36. Keep as few secrets as reasonably possible.
  37. Despite the rule before this one, keep your friends’ secrets.
  38. Politely tell people that you will not betray your friends’ trust, when you are asked about their secrets and such.
  39. Volunteering (i.e. activism) is more important than voting. If you can do both, good for you. If you only have time for one, volunteer instead of voting. It makes more of a difference.
  40. Privately question your own values.
  41. Avoid questioning other people’s values, especially in public.
  42. Listen more than you talk.
  43. Use a journal to count how many calories you consume per day.
  44. Use a journal to count how many calories you burn per day.
  45. If you want to lose weight, burn slightly more than you consume. If you want to gain weight, consume slightly more than you burn. If you are happy with your weight, try to burn the same amount as you consume.
  46. Weigh yourself daily at the same time(s).
  47. Write your daily weight down in a journal.
  48. Never allow the police to search you, your car, or your belongings if you do not have something to hide.
  49. Never tell other people that you think they or something they are doing is immoral or sinful.
  50. Keep your moral values and religion to yourself. Use them to direct your own actions.
  51. Ask people how they are often and listen to their answer.
  52. Laugh at other people’s jokes, but not your own.
  53. Shower at least once per day.
  54. Wash your hands, even if you aren’t an employee.
  55. Take care of the elderly, which includes spending time with them and talking to them.
  56. Avoid going places where you need to be waited on.
  57. Wait on yourself wherever possible.
  58. Make your friends look good.
  59. Avoid lying.
  60. Don’t pretend to be better than you are. Don’t pretend to be more successful, popular, etcetera.
  61. Treat other people as if they are better than they are. Treat them as if they are more successful, popular, etcetera.
  62. Don’t brag about your talents. Instead, surprise people with them when they just happen to be called upon.
  63. Sit up straight.
  64. Keep your house clean.
  65. If you have either of them, keep your car and office clean.
  66. Stretch daily. (I do Yoga most mornings.)
  67. Dance.
  68. Take dancing lessons if you could use improvement.
  69. Ask other people (e.g. your friends, your co-workers, your boss, etc.) what their favorite book is, and read it.
  70. Ask their favorite song or band, and listen to it.
  71. Ask their favorite movie, and watch it.

Extras:

  1. Don’t be camera shy.
  2. When your alarm goes off in the morning (if you use one), don’t press snooze.
  3. Make a budget and follow it.

Suggestions from visitors:

  1. Say “I love you” often to the people you feel this way about.
  2. Always turning off lights when leaving a room, unless of course there are others are in the room. For that matter, conserving any unnecessary electricity usage is key to the future of humanity.

 

November 5, 2009

Books That Changed My Life #2

Writing Down The Bones by Natalie Goldberg

Writing Down The Bones completely ruined my handwriting.

We’re talking about years of Palmer Method here, countless copybooks splotched up with ovals and push-pulls.  And today?  Can’t even sign my own goddam name on my credit card receipts with any sort of legibility.

I totally blame Natalie Goldberg.

In Writing Down The Bones, a book that I credit for making me a writer—good, bad or mediocre, she said that you just take your pen and …GO.

No concern with grammar, punctuation, spelling, or Palmer Method.  The only important thing?  Keep up with your thoughts.  Thoughts fly, the pen is s-l-o-w, so you need to scribble like a fiend.  Not holds barred.  Write everything.  Write crazy, bawdy, self-pitying, self-congratulatory. Write funny, satirical, ironical.  Write irreverent. Write crap.  But write.  Write it all down as fast as you can think it.  Don’t miss a thought, and for that, speed is required.  And speed entails slovenly when it comes to handwriting.  “Chicken scratch” would be a compliment.

So after years of Writing Down The Bones, my perfect Catholic School Palmer Method Oval and Push Pull handwriting is totally and irrevocably gone.

Along with the right answers to catechism questions, saddle shoes, and my goody-goody I’m-Not-Supposed-To-Even-Think-That-Way mindset.

Now, I don’t even give a shit.  I just go.

Natalie Goldberg ruined my handwriting, and set me free, and made me a writer.

Thanks, Nat.

 

November 4, 2009

Sleep

My brain is fried, my toe is fractured, and my head aches.  Not enough sleep, and too much life lived with enthusiasm.  Enthusiasm with no foundation.

The foundation of life is rest.  Without rest, no action is possible.  (Well, it’s possible, but there is a price.)  And the price is brain fog, headaches and irritability.

Yep, that was me today.  I’ve been doing intervals on the treadmill almost everyday, trying to boost my metabolism and burn fat.  In the process I developed a stress fracture in my toe.  Now my 3rd and 4th toes are taped together, buddy-toe style.  The third toe is carrying the fourth toe around until it gets better.

I woke up with seriously unfinished dreams this morning and went to yoga with my fractured toe, taped to its buddy.  No jump backs today.

I also worked out with Tim at the gym and developed a killer headache at the end of my workout.  I believe it’s the lack of sleep.

People don’t still brag about how little sleep they can get by on anymore, do they?  Most adults need between 7 and 9 hours a night.  (I skew towards 9).

 

Did you know that a single night of sleep deprivation can depress your immune system (this from Prevention Magazine.)

I believe it.  My immune system totally felt depressed today.

That’s why I’m going to bed now.

Good night.

November 3, 2009

Looking Down

I found myself walking around Ithaca today, looking down.  Like, at the ground.  Looking down, the way I would look down when it’s raining, or when it’s windy and cold and I’m just trying to make my way through the weather and get to a more comfortable place.

But today was a fine day.  A pleasant day.  With a mixture of sun and clouds.  And it was fairly mild.  But still, I was walking around, sipping a soy latte from Starbucks, in my favorite town, and looking down.  At the ground.

The ground was littered with leaves and candy wrappers from Halloween.  The trees are mostly bare now.  I was wearing a coat.  The sun was hanging low in the sky and it really wasn’t that late in the day.

It’s November.  November is a pen and ink drawing..

Everything seems on the brink of bleak.

I am starting to feel the lack of light, the stinginess of the late afternoon.

I feel the contraction of winter starting to pinch my spine and round my shoulders.  I feel the pull of the ground, like Persephone being called back to the Underworld.

I am starting to look at the ground.

I don’t want to go under.  Not yet.  Not yet

 

 

November 2, 2009

The Stories We Subscribe To

I found myself in an Episcopal Church this weekend for a memorial service for a friend’s mother.  It has been a long time since I was in a church.  There were kneelers and hymnals and a prayer book.

There was a lot of talk of “our lord,” and “our savior,” and “our redeemer.”

I was reminded of a time when I was really into this story, this story of Jesus Christ our lord and redeemer and savior.  Now though?  It doesn’t resonate.  I can’t get into it.

A religion is a story that works for a whole lot of people.  It comforts, it explains inexplicable things, it makes the essential chaos of life graspable.  Religion is a way of explaining why we are here, what we’re supposed to do, how we’re supposed to behave, and what happens to us when we die.

For Christians, it’s the Jesus Christ story.  For Buddhists, it’s the Buddha story.  For Hindus it’s Ram and Sita and Krishna and Ganesha and all that Mahabarata stuff.

The trick with religion is to find a religion (i.e. a story) that comforts and explains a lot of stuff for you, and then link up with that tribe.

A religion is a tribe of people who all believe the same story, know the songs associated with that story, do the same rituals and take comfort in being with each other, part of the same “story tribe.”

Even though I don’t find the Jesus Christ story one that helps me in any way, it was interesting, and an honor, to be in the company of those who do, and to watch them say their prayers and sing their songs and pay respects to one of their tribe: one of their tribe who had just died.

October 30, 2009

100 Recipes #5 Flat Belly Brownies (FAIL)

So, keeping with the Belly Fat theme, I made these brownies today.

They are the most god-awful tasting brownies in brownie-dom.  They’re not nearly sweet enough, and the texture is what I imagine recycled paper towels might taste like

If this is what it takes to have a flat belly, I’m depressed.

But it’s not.  I know that.

I had a great workout with Tim at a different gym today. I fell in love with this machine.  It’s made by a company called “Hoist,” so that’s what I call it: the Hoist.  I want one for my living room.  I think it would look awesome there, right next to the Rothko print.

It has a barbells on gliders, on GLIDERS!  And Tim showed me all kinds of torturous moves I can do on it.  And he took VIDEO!  You wanna see?

Sorry.  Not yet.  The video he took today is the “Before” video.  In a month, when I am looking all buffalicious, I’ll use it for dramatic contrast..

In the meantime, I want you all to rest this weekend, read a good book, and don’t bother making those brownies.

Eat Halloween candy instead.

October 29, 2009

The Power of Stickers

I was once a teacher so I know the power of stickers.  Put a sticker on a kid’s paper and that’s all it takes to make that kid’s day.  Promise a sticker to a kid for good effort and that kid will work like the devil.

Go figure.

I was telling Tim the other day about my streaks and how I am motivated by streaks; by keeping something going for as long as I can: this blog 5 times a week, my hour meditation every day, my paper journal-writing every day.

I now have a workout calendar and I’ve started a new streak (though it won’t be a streak “officially” until I’m 10 days in.)  The deal is that I am going to do something worky-outy every day: hike, bike, lift, run the stairs, etc.

Today Tim and I did Yoganand’s Pranakriya Yoga Workout, which is kick-asana.  He brought me stickers to put on my calendar for everyday I work out.  Little smileys with sweatbands.

I don’t really need external motiviation to keep going, but damn, these stickers are awesome.

stickers2

 

 

October 28, 2009

Belly Fat

On Monday Tim assessed my fitness in an effort to target my weight lifting regimen to meet my goals.

There was a “Flexibility” Test and a “Push-Up” Test and a “How-Far-Up-Can-You-Jump-and Touch-A-Spot-On-The-Wall” Test.

Measurements were taken at the bust, bicep, waist and thigh.  And I went on the scale.

(Does this give you some idea how much I must trust Tim?  I went on THE SCALE, people. And I told him THE NUMBER.  I only do this for people in lab coats, with clip boards, wearing name tags, who have already taken my insurance numbers and a coupla vials of blood.

I weigh 111.  My waist is 27 inches.  I forget the bicep number and the thigh number, but he wrote it all down.

In the push-up department, I can barely do 8.  My flexibility (ahem) is “above average.”

My goal is to have a 25 inch waist (by Thanksgiving) and to build my upper body strength to the point where I am able to bench press 80 lbs. (not by Thanksgiving.) This is what Tim’s assessment test results said I should be able to do.

So, what this means is that all my training from here on out is going to be focused on building upper body strength, and in the process, reducing belly fat.  (omg I cannot  believe I actually said the words “belly fat”)

But hey. Now that I think of it, if I put “Belly Fat” as the title of this post I might get hundreds of people to subscribe to this blog.  Could work.  Let’s make a game of it.  If you want to hear more about my BELLY FAT, hit the RSS feed button right there on my  sidebar above “Categories,” or up at the url address of this site.  Go ahead.  I dare you.)

So, back to the gym.

In the hand weight department, the heaviest ones I can I can pick up at this point (notice I did not say lift, I said “pick up”) are the 20s.  I can maybe do 10 chest presses with the 20s, but only if Tim hands them to me once I get into position, and then takes them off my hands when I make that dog-just-hit-by-a-car whimpering sound.

I looked at the 40 lb hand weights today, and don’t tell Tim I said this, but I cannot even imagine the person I will have to morph into in order to pick up those babies.  I will have to become…dare I say it?  Strong.

Strong of body, I mean  I am strong in lots of other ways, but I’ve never been strong in my body.  I am somewhat flexible from years of yoga.  And I can endure aerobic things for a while, and I can endure lots of mental pain and suffering.

I don’t even blink at the prospect of a root canal or an exam of my lady parts.  But lifting very heavy things?  No.  You would never ask me to help you move your couch.  Me, you would ask to move into the living room for coffee and cake.

I am kinda worried about this inability to conjure up in my imagination the me who will someday be able to hoist aloft 40 pound weights with nary a blink.  Who will that person be??  What will she look like?  What will she do with all this newfound strength?

Move your Barcalounger?

Kick up into a handstand?

I can’t fathom it.

October 27, 2009

Yes, the Mantra

I run hot and cold with mantras.  I was really into japa mala for a long time.  Chanted a long Sanskrit mantra taught to me during a training at Kripalu. (Om namo bhagavate vasu devya.) Wore my mala everywhere.  I still have one hanging from the rearview mirror of my car.  It came in handy during “waiting” times.

(Now I read my Kindle during long waits.)

That Sanskrit mantra was too long, though.  I could never get my breath around it.  I switched to a shorter English one at another training, and I still use that one from time to time, and I like it a lot. (“I open myself to you.”)

A few months ago I was on a “Thank-you” mantra-jag.  That one was very, very  nice.

I say my mantras with a mala—108 beads, 1 recitation of the mantra for each bead.

As I may have mentioned in an earlier post, my morning ashtanga practice makes me feel very quiet and meditative inside, so I’ve taken to sitting on my cushion after savasana with my beads and do japa mala.

This morning, for some inexplicable reason, I started chanting “Yes” as my mantra.

108 recitations of “yes.”

Whatever the question, or even if there is no question, the answer, the response, will always be“Yes.”

“Yes” is opening me up.  I believe this could very well be the year of “Yes.”

I watched Jim Carey’s movie “Yes Man” last weekend.  (cute.) And I read a section of Improv Wisdom that suggested an exercise of a week of saying “yes” to everything.

Yes.

A piece of apple pie now?

Hmmmm…..

 

 

October 26, 2009

Patanjali and Gary Vee

I’m almost finished reading Crush It, by Gary Vaynerchuk, a book about how to monetize your passion.

The big message of this book is: You’ve got to love what you do, work hard, and have patience.

There’s lots of other marketing advice too, but these are the big themes he pounds over and over, or I should say he “crushes.”

He uses the word “crush” like people use the word, “Win,” or “Nail”, or “Kill.”  As in: “I nailed that shot, OR, “My speech at the conference killed.”  Gary Vee wants us to “crush it,” in everything we attempt to do in life.

(All righty then!)

I absolutely love this guy’s exuberance.  This book is one of those fast, breathless reads, where I almost got whiplash from nodding my head in agreement so hard.  (ouch.)

Oh me and my “enthusiasms” as my mother used to call them.  “There goes Kath again, off on one of her enthusiasms.”

(Whatever, mom.)

But being the person I am, the one who is always trying to find mash-ups between yoga and life, as I was reading Crush It I was reminded of one of my favorite of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras.

(Patanjali, for those non-yoga people, is to Yoga, what Buddha is to Buddhism.) It’s this sutra that came to mind: (the translation is Mukunda Stiles’)

1.14

That practice

Is indeed firmly grounded

When it is pursued incessantly,

With reverence,

For a long time.

When Gary Vee said you must totally love what you do, that’s what Patanjali meant by reverence.  When Gary Vee said you have to work till your eyeballs fall out, that’s Patanjali’s “incessantly.”  And when Gary Vee said you gotta have patience, and that this “Crushing It” may take a while? This is Patanjali’s “for a long time.”

I love it when marketing guys channel Pantajali.  Don’t you?

Gary Vee and Patanjali (pronounced Pah-TAHNGE-a-lee).

So. Cool.

(Yeah, and shut up, mom.)