Vibing

I was sitting at my table at Night and Day the other day, looking out the window at this sad little town, with its dreary red brick architecture and proud American flags flying for some unfathomable reason.

I was waiting for Kali to get her food from the counter. We had arranged an impromptu lunch.

As I stared out the window, I noticed Sheila practicing ASL (American Sign Language) with another woman at the bistro table right outside my window. She spelled the words at her companion with her fingers, and smiled. 

On the surface, Kali and I don’t have much in common: she’s a single, young mother with a small business. Her daughter is the same age as my granddaughter. I met her through yoga. Her vibe is generous, smiley, and open-hearted, and I find her fun and easy to riff with. Our vibes match.  

Kali and Jaden

I only know Sheila a little, but we talk books every time we run into one another She has a bright, sharp mind, is easygoing and funny, and I always look forward to talking to her. We vibe.

I’ve been thinking about vibes a lot lately and wondering why I vibe with some people and not others.

It doesn’t seem to have anything to do with how old they are, what they do for work, or their personal preferences in music, food, or art.

It has everything to do with their vibe.

I feel like an old hippie when I use the word vibe, but it’s precisely the right word. We all have a certain vibrational frequency baked into us that grows and morphs as we age and develop.

Some people know exactly the vibe they project and are in control of it, while others are perfectly oblivious.

And this is the problem. 

If you don’t know yourself and the vibe you project, you’re always going to be baffled and confused by how people respond to you.

But if you are self-aware and know the vibe you put out, and also the kind you resonate with, your social life becomes so much easier to navigate

How to Know Your Vibe

If you don’t know your vibe, think about the people you like. I like smiley, open, talkative people, which is why I like Kali.

 I also like people with witty, sardonic senses of humor. Curious, wondering, analytical people who challenge my thinking also amp my vibe a lot, as do humble, self-effacing people. I find the big, open-hearted generous ones easiest to vibe with.

On the flip side, I don’t vibe with complain-y people, schitzy, unfocused people, extremely low-energy people, or sneaky, shady, dishonest people. Angry people with chips on their shoulders? Ugh. Drama queens and gossips? I have zero vibes with them.

I know when I feel uneasy or bored or irritated around someone, it’s because our vibes don’t match, and not because there is something wrong with them.

You can’t expect to vibe with everybody. And just because you don’t vibe with someone doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them. (Unless, of course, there is something wrong with them because they’re doing shady shit. But that’s another story.)

The people who bug us the most are the people who clash with our vibe. 

And the people we love the most are the people who harmonize with our vibe.

We get unnecessarily irked at people simply because we can’t connect with them. But instead of just moving on and letting them be, we let them irritate us.

But if we knew ourselves better and understood our own vibrational patterns, we’d be able to co-exist more harmoniously with those we’d never be able to vibe with.

When you know yourself and how you vibe, it’s easier to tolerate people who emit a different vibe and appreciate the ones you do vibe with for the complete blessings they are.