Too poor to be brave

Today I gave my personal trainer 2 letters.  One letter was a conventional recommendation letter he asked me to write for him for graduate school. The other was an unconventional letter, the letter I really wanted to write, explaining to the school that he really didn’t need them because he already had the skill set they were going to teach him.

I secretly hoped he would love the unconventional one so much that he would crumple the bullshit/conventional one. But although he was so grateful and touched by the things I said about him in the unconventional one, he will send the conventional one.

Which made me think about poverty and how poverty makes people cave and do things that they wouldn’t do if they had money.

Like when the gas people came and offered all the poor farmers money to sell their land. If the farmers had been making decent money they might have told the gas people to shove it, but they couldn’t because they were poor.

So they sold their land and now all this dangerous environmental stuff is going on that is probably going to eff up the water and the air and the aquifers.

The same thing with my friend and grad school. It’s a shitty program at a crummy university but he might be tempted to do something bolder if he didn’t need money.

But since this worthless program will fund him and house him, thus allowing him to cut his current expenses in half, he will do it.

It’s not that he won’t learn anything—he will. It just won’t be the kind of things that will launch him into a whole new sphere. He is doing a version of what high school kids around here do when they are clueless: They enlist in the Army. What else are they going to do?

And that’s what makes me kind of depressed.

And I also know that I too, would probably do exactly what he is going to do. Because I, too, am afraid of the leap into hard, and scary, and unknown.  He is young. He feels rich in time. What’s two years, right?

Me? I am much pickier in where I invest my time, and get much angrier when I feel I am wasting it.

Changing the subject…

The blogging 101 assignment today was to pick a tag line for your blog, something that describes what a reader is likely to find when he/she lands here.

What I want to say is that an “Inspiration Location” is something am looking for; a destination rather than a place I have already found.

And these posts? Mostly a chronicle of becoming derailed, side-tracked, and lost.