It took me a really long time to be happy, to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my time, my life.
I made a lot of mistakes. I could have gotten to this place decades sooner if I had done the stuff I’m suggesting here when I was in my 20s, rather than my 50s.
Whenever I run into people in their 20s who remind me of me at that age, I want to say, “Psst! Come here! You want to figure yourself out quicker and easier? You want to stop feeling lost and confused? Okay, then, do this. Start by making lists.”
That’s why I wrote this. And that’s why I am going to have it printed up. I want to have something tangible to press into people’s hands. People struggling like I struggled. I want to help them be clearer, happier and more pro-active in their lives.
I want to say, “Here.This is the system that worked for me. Maybe it’ll work for you, too.”
But the thing is, nobody acts until they’re at knife-point. At least I didn’t. I had to get profoundly unhappy and angry before I took any action on my own behalf. I plotted and schemed for years before I got free of my of my toxic family. But I did it, because it was intolerable.
But I had to get really unhappy before I took action to change the situation. When I got fed up and pushed to my edge, only then did I make the bold, scary, risky moves that had the most dramatic impact in my life. The moves that ultimately freed me and made me happy.
If you’re comfy, you won’t move.
So what do you do to motivate positive action, short of getting to the angry “F-this” stage?
I suggest doing something a little bit hard every day to build strength for the hard, disciplined steps it’s going to take to move your life out of the “comfy zone” into “living life to the max” zone.
A really productive, amplified life takes a ton of energy, focus, and persistence. So go into training. Do something a little bit hard every day.
Go for a run when you don’t feel like it.
Don’t have that second beer.
Clean out your basement.
Apologize to someone you owe an apology to.
Build your discipline, focus, and persistence using light weights first. Then, when it’s time to walk out the door, get on the plane, move to a different state, quit the deadly job, file for the divorce, you’ll be ready. You’ll already know what it feels like to be uncomfortable for a while, and you’ll know it won’t last forever.
Then you’ll be free.