Vacation: Reading

I’ve been away.

Far away. 

On a kind of vacation.

In the last eighteen days, I’ve read nine books. A new one every other day. 

All Fours by Miranda July

Dinners with Ruth by Nina Totenberg

Sandwich by Catherine Newman

Get Me Through the Next Five Minutes by James Parker

Real Americans by Rachel Khong

Open: Living With An Expansive Mind In A Distracted World by Nate Kemp

James by Percival Everett

The Other Significant Others by Rhine Cohen

Erasure by Percival Everett

In the mornings and evenings, I read fiction on my Kindle. When I walk, do housework, drive, or get ready for class, I listen to nonfiction books on Audible.

Even though it may look like I’m doing things and functioning in the world, I’m not. I’m pondering the nature of my non-romantic relationships, vacationing on Cape Cod with my older children and aging parents, making my way down the Mississippi on a raft, and making kinky sex videos.

I’m also letting myself get caught up in a lot of complex family drama and worrying about menopause, touch, and sex.

I’ve given all these ideas and fictional characters total run of my mind. They have unrestricted access to every square foot of it, while my so-called “real life,” is relegated to a small, musty guest room in the basement.

But I’m more than okay in the basement.  I’m letting my life run on autopilot while I escape into fictional worlds, and so far, nothing bad has happened. 

I can see no reason this has to end, either. Some catastrophe may force me to return to my real life, but until it does, I’m in full-on retreat mode. My avatar is doing a good job handling the real world.

This is how I plan to live forever: Two books at a time: one through the eyes and one through the ears. Sometimes, the eye book gets done first, and other times, the ear one does. 

My avatar teaches my classes, goes to parties, and out to eat. When people ask her how her summer is going, she says good.

She says nothing about the river rafting and the menopausal sex and the zen experiments in “street opening.”

I look like I’m in the pub eating pizza, but it’s partly an illusion. I’m only half there. I’m actually in these other worlds while my avatar orders a kale salad in this one. 

 I have to close my physical book (Kindle) to be with real people, but they just can’t compete with these fictional characters with their compelling situations and personalities, so I get bored.  I check my watch a lot, waiting for a graceful opening to exit and get back to my book. 

 I don’t feel like I have full-time residency in the real world or the fictional one, but I want to stay in the fictional one. I want to stay on vacation. I want to let my mind have incredible adventures and leave my body with the babysitter who will see that I brush my teeth and get to bed on time.

So I can get up the next day and continue my vacation.