Zillow

My daughter is looking at houses. On Zillow. The Pinterest of Real Estate. 

 I read today that the Fed is poised to lower mortgage interest rates, and buyers are ready to pounce.

My daughter is ready to pounce.

She’s been looking on Zillow for about a month now, and she sends me links to the houses she’s kind of interested in. To see what I think.

But this is a very, very bad thing for her to do because I don’t think. I feel. I get vibes from these houses. I see more their need for a good exorcism rather than their need for a good roof. 

I think she wants me to consider price, taxes, school districts, and other aspects of a particular listing and tell her if I can see her living there and if I think it’s pretty. 

But I get distracted by other people’s stuff, —their couches and exercise bikes, and racks of plaid shirts in the walk-in closet. Then I get overloaded and can’t see the house at all. 

All I can see is myself, walking through the rooms with a stick of sage. So I text her: I’m not a big fan of this one.

Later, I show the same house to G and she says, “What’s wrong with it?” 

And I say, “Do you not see the seventeen cat condos in the living room and the bottle of Nyquil on the kitchen counter?

“You can’t look at that shit, Kath,” she says. 

But it’s all I can see.

There are only two kinds of Zillow house pictures I can actually see. The first are the photos of entirely empty rooms. These houses give off no vibe whatsoever.

The second is the staged ones. These rooms do emit a vibe, but it’s so generic that it’s like white noise. 

With these empty and staged houses, I can fully appreciate good floor plans, and fine architectureal elements.  But I am totally house blind to any house that features the real life, lived-in decor of the owners.

My Spreadsheet Mind goes out the window and my Feng Shui mind takes over. For example: See that front door that opens right onto the staircase? Yep, that’s a problem because the energy from outside flows right up those stairs. 

See all those prescription bottles lined up on the kitchen counter? There’s a lot of sickness in this house.

And this is why I told Em the other day: Don’t listen to your mother. I am not a good person when it comes to assessing houses. I will draw you a bagua. I will help you fix any energy-flow problems using what I know about feng shui. But I can’t be relied on to help you pick based on all the things you have to consider.

But you will. You will pick the best house for you, but there will be trade-offs because there are always trade-offs. For example, you might have to trade a larger house for a better neighborhood.

And always remember: there’s no perfect house.

But there is a perfect house for you right now. It’s the house where you can grow to know yourself more deeply. A house where you’ll start new rituals, and discover new levels of creativity, contentment, and ease. 

Your perfect house is where you’ll create your home.