Fight, Flight, or Freeze: The Upcoming Election

The Election is five days away.

As I always do, I will get dressed up to go to the polls.

I don’t know exactly what top or bottom I’ll wear, but I will surely wear my black Converse All-Stars in honor of Kamala’s black Chuck Taylors.

The long-range forecast is for a high of 68 degrees on Tuesday. 

“Partly sunny and warmer with a couple of showers possible, wet weather possible if you are headed out to vote.”

This is word-for-word from the AccuWeather app on my phone.

I plan to look especially nice. Not over-dressed, but elevated. Looking nice will make me feel brave as I stand in line with all the Trump voters.

I hate the voting-in-person experience but did not request a mail-in ballot because I don’t trust the post office. Why does a greeting card take over a week to get from Mansfield to Ithaca? There is no excuse.

After I vote, I will teach Gentle Yoga. Not until 5:30, but that’s my only scheduled activity that day. The polls don’t close until 8 PM so there won’t be any news until later anyway.

Beyond yoga, I haven’t made a plan yet. Will I watch election coverage on Tuesday night even though I’m sure the election won’t be officially called for days, maybe weeks?

Yes. Yes, I will. I will watch Rachel on MSNBC.

I will probably have a drink. But what? Wine? Brez? Gin?

And as a result of feeling anxious, staying up late, and drinking, I will sleep like shit. I will fall asleep quickly and deeply, then pop awake at 3 AM and check my phone, and doomscroll until about 5:30, when I will fall back asleep and wake up groggy at 7:30. 

And read the papers.

Whatever we know or don’t know on Wednesday, I will teach the first in a 4-part series of Yin Yoga at 5:30. It is the perfect style for the day after the election. We will all need to calm our sympathetic nervous systems the hell down, no matter how we vote.

(Yin Yoga is floor postures held for three to five minutes. Very demure. Very mindful.)

The sympathetic nervous system controls heart rate, blood pressure, digestion, urination, and sweating. It’s the fight, flight, or freeze system.

When I am anxious or triggered, I use my words. That’s my way of fighting. I will do lots of cerebral screaming. I will talk to myself and the people who trigger me IN MY HEAD. Sometimes, I will write everything down. I will scribble vehemently like someone possessed.

Whenever I am anxious or triggered, I want to flee. I live in Trump-ville, and most of the time, my brain can just pixelate all the yard signs, but if things go that way, I will start hatching serious plans for selling the house and getting the fuck out of this place.

But moving entails having a plan, and I don’t. I have a fantasy plan, not an actual downsizing, moving-van plan.

So if things go sideways, the only response I will have left, at least for the short term, is to freeze. 

This means hoodie up, sweatpants on, and retreating into social isolation mode —with a pile of novels.

In addition, if I find out someone I know personally voted for Trump, I will take it personally. It will mean they don’t care about me as a woman, and a gay woman, and a mother, and a grandmother. It will mean they don’t care about old people who depend on social security or people with pre-existing conditions who need health care.

If things don’t go well, I don’t know how or if it will affect my yoga teaching. It won’t affect my personal practice, but I can’t help but think it has to bleed over into my teaching.

Today I got an email from Jack Kornfield, the famous meditation teacher. The subject line of the email was: Let Your Vote Become A Prayer.

Here’s part of what he said:

“This is a painfully divided and polarized time. Do not be discouraged. Vote. With a meditative reflection, an encouraging spirit, and a bow, I have just cast my vote for Kamala Harris. You, too, must take time and consider your own vote and the importance of Tuesday’s election. And as Boddhisattvas who seek to reduce suffering and promote goodwill, make your own best decision.”

Dang, Jack. Yes. Thank you for that. 

And I hope to god if things go sideways, there will be a follow-up email telling me what to do next, because I don’t have a clue.