As the date of this shoulder surgery approached, I was looking forward to the reversal of our roles. For once, I would get to do for her what she always does for me. I saw myself administering pain meds, fetching ice, making food, and fluffing pillows. I hated that I cowered in the kitchen, leaving her to take care of that deer. I wished I had told her to, “Rest, honey, I’ll handle it.” But I didn’t. I was afraid to watch that deer suffer and die.
Category: Gratitude
Learning To Love Reality.
Macro of a perfect eye The visit to my retina specialist yesterday was disappointing. The film over my left eye and the large twig-like floater will have to resolve on their own—or not—no YAG laser procedure for me. When I asked about YAG as a possibility, my doctor recoiled, “God, no! Do not do that! … Continue reading Learning To Love Reality.
A Real Find
Yesterday was a cold damp day. I’d been reading Where the Crawdads Sing and thinking about abandonment. I wasn’t abandoned like Kya, the protagonist in that book, but I was abandoned psychologically. My mother was checked out, and always in some feud with her own family: her mother, her twin sister, her brothers. I didn’t … Continue reading A Real Find
Boomer: Big Dog On Campus
She made the students look up from their phones and smile at her. I’d be walking the South Hall Mall and hear an ear-deafening screech from a student, far off in the distance, who had spied her. “Cor-geeeeee!!!!” Students would mob her like a celebrity. And, like the complete diva she was, she’d sit … Continue reading Boomer: Big Dog On Campus
Reconciliation after a long estrangement
One of the things on my "Things I Love" list are movies that end with reconciliations after long estrangements. I feel like I am living one of those movies now. I have been holding a grudge towards a person in my town for a long time, and only recently, thanks in part to Brene Brown's … Continue reading Reconciliation after a long estrangement
A Sunday Brunch Meditation
Over gluten-free waffles, green juice and coffee Misty, Vince and I talked about role models, and how if it weren't for our friends' families, we would never have imagined that parents could be nice to one another, and to their children. So if you have a half-way decent family situation, you should open your home … Continue reading A Sunday Brunch Meditation
Week 1 Gratitudes
Time for some appreciation and gratitude. This is the end of Week 1 of my new intention to write every day, Monday through Friday, on The Project. First, I appreciate G. For everything, but especially for understanding why I am squirreled up in my room so much, and for making the elixir (we are doing … Continue reading Week 1 Gratitudes
Feeling the Tribe
I still don't live with my tribe. And although this is hard for me, lately I've heard a lot of people from many different places say the exact same thing. Even people who live in notoriously cool places. I heard a podcast this week in which a pretty famous writer said that even thought he … Continue reading Feeling the Tribe
The Way I Wish To Be Seen
Today after yoga was over and most people had gone, Vince, my trainer, stopped by to say hi and to give me a letter. As it turned out I had a card for him, too. It had the Rilke quote on it about living the questions. He sat down in the Poang chair and read … Continue reading The Way I Wish To Be Seen
The Importance of Conversation and Connection
I am a shitty friend. I tend to neglect friendships by not keeping up, or arranging lunches or emailing regularly. I don't know why I do this, but I do. When I was a kid, and people would compliment my mother on how good her children were, her stock response was, "They thrive on neglect." … Continue reading The Importance of Conversation and Connection
Inspiration Location 