Because I am a Capricorn and kinda anal, I have this tendency to want to begin at the beginning and give all the backstory to a situation. Thing is, I hate it when other people do this and would prefer if they just jumped in at the middle, or started from the end and worked back, or just started Right NOW:
Water glass. Sunshine. List of Things to Do. Saturday morning. February.
The only way I can write, or do anything for that matter, is if I first chant this mantra 100 times:
“Begin anywhere. Begin anywhere. Begin anywhere. Begin anywhere.”
(It’s a John Cage quote. I found it on a note card.)
On a circuitous, but related subject, I very much love it when I find signs that say: “You are Here.”
I find it very comforting to read those three words. Though I question them. I think: “Really? Is this where I am??”
“Yes,” says the map. “You are here. Right here where we’ve put this red dot. And, what’s more, everything else you see around this red dot? Those places can only be accessed from “Here” and, lucky for you, that’s where you ARE. Right Now.”
The King of Prussia Mall, because it is so vast, has these kinds of “You are Here” maps all over the place. Whenever I go to that mall, I try to find one first thing. I sit in front of it for a long reverential moment contemplating the pristine Zen-ness of finally being located. I try to wrap my mind around the deep metaphysics of it.
“Here,” it says, “you are here and Bloomies is to the north, Penny’s is southeast and Crate and Barrel is to the northwest. But regardless, at this very moment: You are Here.”
But there are dueling desires in my soul. There is this very real need to know where I am (i.e “here”) and to camp out there; but there is the competing need to “Begin,” to DO THINGS, to act. To Be and To Do. (I know “do be do be do” the Sinatra thing, don’t get me started.)
I know if I get too comfy HERE, I tend not to BEGIN. And then my life gets whacked and out of balance as a result of too much “Being” and not enough “Beginning.”
Thus, I spend my whole life, all of my time, trying to strike the right balance between these two.
And this is how I choose to begin this blog.
You are here.