I miss me when I’m not here.
For the past few days I’ve been checking in, hoping against hope that someone might have hacked in and ghost-written me a post. Something witty and heartfelt, maybe. Or uplifting and inspiring. Even something wicked and bitchy.
But no. Every time I check, it’s the same: “Yosemite Boots.”
When a blog is called “Inspiration Location,” and its stated purpose is to hunt down inspiring things and champion them, and the author is feeling so, so…
Let’s just put it this way.
If I was a car, I would have something ominous rattling under my hood. So I’ve pulled over and I’m not driving (writing) until it’s fixed.
I watched the documentary, “Gasland” the other night and it has put me into a complete state of despair. What was illustrated in that documentary is precisely what’s in the process of happening here, in this place, at this very moment. “Gasland” is the future of Mansfield.
Ever since I saw it, I’ve been trying NOT to despair, and I am calling on all my practices to teach me how think about this (or not think about it).
“In a moment of difficulty, practice serenity.”
This is what I have been training all these years to be able to do, so I am trying to stay conscious and aware and witness it all, dispassionately and reasonably.
And breathe.
But what this might mean for a blog called “Inspiration Location” is that I may not be able to write happy, chirpy, “rainbows and unicorns” kind of posts for awhile because I’m feeling mighty low on inspiration.
It’s like my car’s in the shop and until I can get her up and running again, I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer here, doing a whole hand-wringing, what’s-going-to-happen-to-us trip.
(I really hope I don’t need a whole new transmission.)
Inspiration Location 
Right there with ya. I just took four days off and I spent more of it asleep rather than awake. Had all these plans to do all these things and not one of them happened. Clearly, I needed the rest, but I’m still disappointed. It’s all about expectations, isn’t it? Wanting the one side of the coin rather than the other… sometimes, it’s just about being icky and being ok with it.
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Kath … You are so not alone in your despair. Add depression and shock and disbelief and you have my lack of forward motion for the last 6 months. I was finding it hard to adjust to the changes in Mansfield life due to gas drilling, and I was trying hard to make piece with the odds of having contaminated water due to fracking on the property next to mine, but when I found out that the same landowner was allowing a three engine compressor station on his property next to mine as well, life became a moment by moment proposition. And, then I saw the documentary GasLand and the Josh Fox interview on NOW on PBS from the end of March, and life is feeling out of my control to say the least. Keep writing. I read your Inspiration Location every day. I await your thoughts and views and words.
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I feel so badly for MS. We live in residential zoned areas, how is it possible for these people to run compressors without permits? That to me should require commercial zoning. We all need to fight back and not let this greed overrun our beautiful hills and valleys. Scarnati and Baker need to hear from us all! Every voice does count. P.S. stop drinking well water IMMEDIATELY.
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oh my… you ARE human! keep doing what you think is right and trust your gut. oh, and don’t forget to BREATHE! xoxo
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I just found you. I am going thru my google reader. Trying to weed out those blogs I don’t read . I read your April post. It moved me . So I added you. YOU inspired me. Maybe you just need an oil change not the dreaded transmission. Sometimes we need to go into the dark to be able to tolerate the light. I don’t have a cure for you . I will keep reading you past posts if you are still in the shop after today.
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Oh Carrie!
Thank you so much. It was your comment that roused me from my torpor. Big gratitude!
Kath
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