I swear, this is my last whiny detox post.

I went on a “walk and talk” with Rowena yesterday. We walked the bike path. It was 60 degrees and sunny. I like to walk and talk. I much prefer that to “sit and talk.” I think more clearly when I am walking and I also think I am a better listener.

Solvitur ambulando: all is solved through walking.

I told her about how dreary I feel without my coffee and how I don’t even drink all that much and only want it in the morning, and she asked me how long I have been off it, and when I told her “3 weeks” thinking that she would be totally impressed, she just scoffed and said, “You’re not even detoxing yet.”

And when I heard her say that, I knew she was probably right. I’m just at the beginning of this journey. I had no intention of quitting before the end of April, but when I think of the summer, I can’t imagine being able to keep this going.

( I need to go back and re-read that Alberto Villoldo piece in The Intelligent Optimist magazine, called “Why taking supplements leads to enlightenment.” He said it would take 6 months to fully detox.)

Rowena has been off coffee for over 2 years and I wanted her to tell me WHY I should sustain this. What’s at the end of this rainbow? What magical world of energy awaits me? If I thought I would reach some crazy energy nirvana state as a result of no caffeine, I’d be totally incentivized.

“You’re energy will be more balanced,” she said.

“I don’t care about balance,” I said. I want amplification.”

“You want to get to the point where you don’t crave anything, she said. “Then that lack of craving will free you to access another, higher energy level.”

This had SOME appeal, but not much. I wanted her to be more rhapsodic about it; I wanted her to describe it as some alternative state of consciousness, some trip.

But she didn’t.

She suggested Teeccino, which I have tried in the past, but that stuff doesn’t do it for me, but I might try it again. Something tells me that it will just awaken my love of coffee, so it might be better just to stick to my hot water laced with honey and coconut oil.

It is a royal pain in the ass, this detox, but it is having a good influence on G. We used to sit and have a drink practically every night to wind down. It’s a nice, relaxing ritual. But since I am not indulging now, she isn’t either, and she reported that her body fat is down 3% in just about 2 weeks

She said she read my post from yesterday and she thinks we could be on the verge of a new lifestyle.  I was surprised to hear her say that. It would certainly make it easier for me to sustain this streak if I knew that she supported it not just for my sake, but for hers, too.

I can’t see us not having drinks ever again, but maybe just on the weekends. I think that would be a good compromise.

I got on the scale today and nothing has changed. You would think 3 weeks of no alcohol, no caffeine and virtually no sugar would have me down a few pounds, but nothing. I am even up little in pounds and there is no difference in my measurements either.

I am getting stronger though, and I can see definition in my arms, but today at the gym I was working at the mirror to try to keep the squat bar level, and I noticed I am still not where I would like to be.

Like everything, it’s going to take slow, persistent practice over time.

*Sigh*

Okay. No more about this for awhile.