I wrote to Zee today hoping she could advise me on how to handle my rage.
Here’s part of what she said:
“I live my life with a slow-burning rage against all this kind of shit and so when new horrificness rears up it adds fuel to the pyre but I’m not starting from scratch.”
Yeah, sadly, we are not starting from scratch. Rapist in the White House, Epstein files, now this.
She pointed me to a guy she follows online who is an acupuncturist and a neuroscience geek who gives straightforward advice on how to handle anxiety, anger, and all kinds of toxic emotions.
She follows him on FB, but I looked him up on Instagram. He goes by the handle Upspiral.life. His name is Michael Hunter. I’ve seen his stuff before, but he’s not part of my algorithm. He’s good. I started following him because rage is consuming me and I need to sleep.
Here’s what this guy says to do when you’re angry:
1. Name it. Say, “A part of me is enraged about what those motherfuckers did to that girl at Cornell.” Say “a part of me is enraged,” rather than “I am enraged.” You don’t want rage to become your whole personality.
2. Breathe. This was funny because I have already written about breathing when enraged in my post entitled “Don’t Breathe.” But he’s right. When rage flares, it’s important to lower your blood pressure. He says to inhale for a count of 4 and exhale for 8. Classic advice that almost nobody follows when enraged.
3. Splash cold water on your face. Cold water engages the vagus nerve and rapidly turns down your “fight or flight” response and boosts your “rest and digest mode. It also clears the mind and helps your body return to a steady, relaxed state.
Looks like I will be carrying a spray bottle filled with ice water so I can hose myself down multiple times throughout the day.
But to tell you the truth, part of me doesn’t want to stop feeling rage. Rage feels like the only proper response right now, and not feeling rage feels like looking away or letting them off.
Our rage is how we roar NO.
But at the same time, we can’t self-immolate. We cannot burn down our own house. We have to be smart, strategic, and have every part of our brains online so as to dismantle this fucked up system.
A part of us can roar, yes, but another part has to stay razor-focused to ensure justice is served.
