I tried a new recipe yesterday, something I taste-tested on Saturday at Wegman’s at one of those stations where they give out samples. It was a warm pasta salad with butternut squash, escarole, whole wheat fusili and lots of other yummy ingredients. Perfect!
I took the recipe card and bought all the ingredients. The card said it took 35 minutes to prepare. An hour and a half later and a sink full of dishes I was still at it. It turned out just as good as I remembered it in the store, but labor intensive? Good god.
Too many steps, too many dishes. If I’m going to commit that much time, I want to have a full Thanksgiving dinner at the end of it, not a pasta salad. You know what I mean?
So if you really want the recipe for it, email me and I’ll send it to you. Instead, I am going to give you the recipe for a vacation I wrote today at Emma’s. It’s raw. It’s unedited, but that’s how we roll at Emma’s. This one I would make at the drop of a hat, any day of the week. I could eat this every day and never tire of it.
Recipe for a Vacation
- Chop into small pieces: anxiety, pressure, stress, frustration, irritation and anger. Place into a blender and blend on HIGH until smooth. Pour immediately down the nearest drain. Flush with hot water. Sigh deeply.
- Flatten 1 long stretch of white pristine beach. Dot liberally with terns, plovers, and conch shells. Carefully remove loud people and whiney children.
- At the edge of the beach add 40 trillion gallons of blue sea. Ladle in dolphins, whales and porpoises. Stir lightly.
- In a separate bowl combine: 2 weeks of time, 3 gallons of wine, 1 bottle of champagne, 10 limes, 8 large books and 1 pound of the best coffee you can afford. Let sit.
- Cream together: 1 pair of flip flops, 2 pairs of shorts, 1 beach towel, 1 bathing suit and 1 sun hat.
- Fold the contents of the bowl into this mixture.
- Turn out onto the beach. Smooth lightly. Garnish with abundant sunshine, seagulls, white puffy clouds and a gentle breeze.
- Bake at 85 degrees for 2 weeks.
- Serve immediately.
2 thoughts on “100 Recipes #3 Fail”
What a fun writing prompt! That sounds better than the Wegman’s recipe.
P.S. Talk to me about getting to your 100 food recipe goal. I have some winners.
You’re on! I need recipe ideas!