See people the way they want to be seen.
It’s magical. All you have to do is see people, but nobody sees anyone anymore. We all live in a narcissistic, ego-centric bubble in which we want to be seen but no one wants to do the seeing.
So, if you can climb out of your own bubble once in a while and actually see another person, they will be astonished. And inspired. And energized. And motivated.
Probe a bit and find out just how they want to be seen. Talk to them about their dreams and aspirations. Do they want to be a leader, a role-model, a hard worker? Do they want to be known for their kindness, their sense of humor, their brilliance? Who do they want to be? What do they want to be known for?
(This might take a little time –and a bit of beer.)
But if you can get a person to describe his vision for you, you will have found motivational gold.
Think about how YOU feel when someone talks to you, relates to you, and treats you like the person you really want to be?
Don’t you feel optimistic and energized? Don’t you want to validate that person’s vision of you in how you work, and behave? Don’t you feel charged and optimistic and energized around that person?
Don’t you want to question that person further, figure out what they’re seeing that you’re not?
This person is going to inspire you to be your best self.
And we all can be this person for somebody. And we probably should.
Try it as a little experiment. Find out the personal aspirations of someone you know, and then just start relating to them as if they already possess those qualities.
Tell them, “You’re an inspiration.” Tell them, “You’re amazing.”
Don’t lie. Just talk to that vision you’re holding of them being their best self.
They’ll be astonished and energized and motivated and inspired.
It’s an art, this kind of seeing.. A skill honed with practice and attention.
But if you can do it, even a little, if you can really see another person, your seeing them will amplify their goodness and change them.