The Colonoscopy Song

I took a friend to get a colonoscopy today and made several observations:

#1. The “knock-out” drug for this “same day surgery” procedure appears to be pretty darned awesome. My friend woke up singing the theme song to You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown which forever more will be known to me as “The Colonoscopy Song.”

You can listen to it here, but trust me, my friend sang it much sweeter curled up in her little hospital gown with a big smile on her face.

#2. Bartenders, school teachers, yoga teachers and nurses have one thing in common: they all repeat the same tired jokes all day.  Today I heard the nurse say “vertical smile” to describe one’s ass-crack to at least 3 different patients. She also, in telling a patient their test came out “normal” said, “And you thought “normal” was just a cycle on your washer, didn’t you?”  Haha.

We all do this, and as I sat there listening to this joke over and over, I thought maybe it would just be better to say nothing, or say something genuine, rather than go around mouthing this stupid shit all day, thinking it’s clever.  Or funny.

It’s not.  So we should all stop doing this and just shut up.

#3. The final observation is that health care professionals are some of the least heathy-looking people around.  I wonder if it bothers them to be dispensing health advice all day to people when they themselves CLEARLY do not follow this advice? These nurses were all over-weight and unhealthy looking.

Time to be walkin’ the talk, I think.

Otherwise, the day was pretty good.  My friend’s colonoscopy came as as normal as the cycle on a washing machine, and tonight she is probably cuddled up in her own bed with a full tummy singing Happiness is…

5 thoughts on “The Colonoscopy Song

  1. I too have observed that about health care staff! It is very unsettling, but then again I guess we can’t assume that just because you work in a health care setting that you have access to its services. I work in the health care publishing industry, where all we do is help doctors and nurses promote their research, yet our company’s health benefits are mediocre. :/


  2. Having had more medical procedures in the past 2 years than anyone should have to endure, I have come to love my medical professionals. They aren’t just doing a job..they love their people…much as school teachers, yoga teachers, etc. As such, they do their best to keep people relaxed and what better way to do that than a little humor? People are nervous about medical procedures…I’m sure they use humor to try and lighten them up a bit. Personally, being an absolute ball of anxiety when it comes to anything medical, I appreciate the attempt. I also appreciate genuine compassion…the two together make for an outstanding experience.

    As for not looking healthy, you might take into consideration the hours the medical profession requires and combine that for a genuine care(worry) for their patients. I can’t imagine being a doctor, knowing what the people I care for are going through..doctors worry too (at least the good ones do) and that does take a toll.

    And being overweight? Yeah..we should all KNOW better and I suspect the majority of us do. However, people are overweight for as many reasons as there are overweight people. Belly fat has nothing to do with intelligence or compassion…both of the qualities I WANT in my medical care. FYI: Chemo wards are full…FULL of thin people (which I find interesting since you hear so much about how being fit and trim is the key to everything). I, being a large person, was the exception in the chemo clinic, not the rule.

    I once spent time in the recovery room singing Happy Birthday to my nurse. In German. 🙂

    So glad your friend is ok.


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