Letting the light in

We took down the canvas canopy on the deck today, and now just the frame remains, letting in a lot more light into the kitchen window.

In the summer it is so wonderful how that canopy shields the harsh sun. It makes the kitchen ten times cooler.

But today the sun came out after many days of clouds and rain so we took the opportunity of this nice day to begin preparing the deck for winter.  And that meant the canopy had to come down.

The framework of steel rods and rails will continue to stand all winter allowing welcome winter sun and light into the kitchen.  Those steel rods and rails also  segment the sky into to geometrical triangles and rhomboids.  I see this segmented sky every day from my vantage point at the sink, and can measure the short days by where the sun appears in relationship to these lines.

The rods and rails of the supports are like my skeleton, and as I practice harder I am beginning to feel, underneath my muscles and tendons and organs, my skeleton.

I feel it most vividly when I when I hold the deep kumbaks.  I  feel what I really am, underneath what I lovingly call my “upholstery”–muscles, yes, but also fat.  I am on a path of transformation these days.  I spend a lot of time breathing deliberately: lots of pranayama of the propulsive variety (kapalabhati and bastrika) with deep holds out. and deep holds in.

When I hold my breath I am able to access my deep structure. It’s a lot like taking the canopy off the standards and letting the sun into the kitchen, into my center.  It feels bare and geometrical.  But it also lets in a lot more light.